Gulf Oil Makes it Crystal Clear

Swirling in the oily waters of the Gulf of Mexico is one of the clearest examples of conservative governing philosophy you’ll ever see:


When in power, pack government agencies with do-nothing cronies, losers and crooks. Then, when voters elect Democrats to clean up the various and inevitable “Market Gone Wild” disasters, hector the government’s response as incompetent and ineffectual and ceaselessly pillory its officials – all as a kick off for the next election cycle.

That’s why you keep hearing the term “Obama’s Katrina” instead of “BP’s Katrina” or “Bush’s Katrina: The Sequel.” This despite the fact that the oil industry has bought and muscled its way out of just about every reasonable attempt to regulate offshore rigs since the Reagan era.

Conservatives call this self-regulation, and in this case, numerous reports suggest it worked a little something like this:

Oil Industry: “We’ll regulate ourselves much more strictly than you guys at the government ever could. We got everything covered.”

U.S. Minerals Management Service: “Great! Bring on the hookers!”

Now, we’ve got a situation wherein neither BP nor the federal government has the technology to stop the spill. Both organizations look impotent – but only one has leaders you can vote to fire.

Ingenious, no?

So what’s more nauseating: The cynicism and disingenuousness of conservative politics? Or the serial impotence of liberals and progressives against it?

Ah, the swirl…feel its spray against your face as you retch.